Keeping track

I am debating on whether or not to keep track of binge free days.  Maybe it will help me stay on track.  Katie over at RunsforCookies  does and it seems to help her.  Im willing to do anything at this point.

I'm feeling pretty good today, aside from the fact of how old I feel.  You see when I was pregnant with my son I started to develop a bunion on my right foot. At the time I thought I merely broke my toe... but here we are 6 years later and not only does it hurt but its a constant pain and is getting in the way of wearing shoes comfortably.  So today I ordered a special support thingy for it.  If I don't get any kind of relief there my only other option is to see a doctor and/or podiatrist.  I don't even wear high heeled shoes.  My flats even make my feet hurt.

Anywho.   I hopped on the treadmill last night.  I did quarter mile walk run intervals for about 32 minutes.   I don't ache today so I think doing it that way will work for a while.  Tonight I plan on doing some PIYO.  I'm very much looking forward to it.  

My main goal is to just feel better emotionally and physically.    

-Kristina

Into words

I wish I could put into words just exactly how I feel or what I am going through emotionally.  I keep telling myself to wake up and get out of this cycle. This battle that I am enduring I can't get up from. I feel like every time I turn around I'm getting pushed back down.  I hate how I feel in my clothes and I was working so hard to fix it and it seemed that it wasn't working.  I am so tired of struggling.  So tired of going in circles.  Losing and gaining the same 7 lbs..over and over again.  I'm so exhausted. 

I miss running.  I miss the way running made me feel.  I would give anything to have that back.  I could go back but I can't run long distance anymore, not with my hips.  I have to be extra careful as it is. Even though one tear has been repaired, the other has not.  The last run a couple weeks ago I over did it and hurt for the rest of the week.  I need to be smarter about it and follow a beginners plan and use the run/walk method.  It won't make me less of a runner by doing this.  

I could go back to running and PIYO,  PIYO will keep my joints and muscles strong and stretched.

Maybe that's the plan I need to take. 

Every time I put a plan on paper and I get off track I feel like a total failure.  I feel like Moses in the desert.  Lord help me! 

Dust yourself off!

I vowed for change this morning.  I pray that the Lord gives me the strength to endure these hurdles. It seems like I have more than usual lately.  My emotions are all over the place and negative thoughts consume me.  

Time to dust off and pick up where I left off.  This past week has been awful.

These are the things I need to change:

1. My quite time with God;
2. Scripture memorization;
3. The attitude towards food and weight loss;
4. Teaching Noah about God and the bible;
5. Del-cutter every room in the apartment.

I pray for the Lord to pull me out of this deep dark pit I seem to be in.  I declare and decree that I don't have the spirit of fear and worry but that I have the spirit of peace and joy!  The enemy has no place in my mind.  

There is so much that I need to accomplish it sometimes is overwhelming.  I don't even know where to start.  I don't have enough hours in the day.   Lord help me to accomplish every task I need.   

Please Father shift some things in our lives.  Your word says that we are blessed when we come in and blessed when we go out, that we are above and not beneath, that we are the head and not the tail, that we are lenders and not borrowers!   I decree and declare that all these will come to pass sooner rather than later, in Jesus Name. 

~ Kristina

Why is it so hard for me?

This is another question I constantly ponder.  There are so many active people out there who look like they have it all together.  They are fit, they are active, they lose weight and maintain their loss.  But why is it so hard for me to do the same?  I have been to goal weight time and time again and when I get there I get lax and that's when the weight returns little by little.  I have come to the conclusion that we just can't become lazy.  We gain weight by eating too much and not moving enough.  We eat the wrong things and too much of it.  Even if you are eating the right things you can still be eating to much of it and gain weight!  This is one of the reasons I stopped weight watchers. Fruits and Veggies are free foods and you can eat as much as you'd like without taking away any of your points.  But guess what?  Eating to much of a good thing can be bad.  Fruit has a lot of sugar in it and too much of it can make you gain weight.  

21 day fix fixes that for us.   We are given colored containers and each container represents a food group and depending on your weight/height etc determines how many of each you get throughout the day and combined with Shakeology (which taste amazing by the way!) results happen.   The beginning was the hardest for me because I only got two yellow (Carbs) containers a day.  But over time I've realized sometimes I don't even need those containers as I have taught myself to make different choices.  I am eating things today that I wouldn't have thought twice about before starting the 21 Day Fix. 

So we are at goal weight.  Now what?  You get into the mindset that I don't need to exercise as much or you can add back in those things you know you shouldn't eat because these foods got you to where you were before.  And then before you know it you've gone weeks without exercising and you've gained some weight back.  

This is the cycle I am currently on except this time the weight simply isn't coming off like it used to. Which only makes me frustrated.  It makes me want to quit and give up. I think "whats the point".   But as a Beachbody Coach what does that show my clients?  So I pick myself up and continue where I left off without skipping a beat.    Learning everyday what I need to do to get the job done.

• No more throwing in the towel
• Keep pushing regardless of whether or not the scale moves
• Focus on the process not the progress
• Stop being lax
• Never, ever give up
• Be an inspiration
• Glorify God with the way I take care of myself and the way I help others

This journey isn't easy.  Its hard.  It takes work.  It takes determination and it takes motivation from within yourself to continue.  This journey is 90% mental and 10% physical!  

Its like what my Pastor reminds us from the pulpit almost on a weekly basis.  We have to renew are mind and we have to do it every.single.day.  If we don't we will continue along the same old path making the same crappy choices.  Choices that make us feel terrible about ourselves.  Jesus went 40 days and 40 nights without anything and we cry about giving up sweets every day and limiting it to one serving maybe once or twice a week.   

Its not going to be easy but in the end it will be worth it.  

What change are you willing to make today that will get you to where you want to be tomorrow?

If Jesus can do it, so can you!

~ Kristina

Fresh Start?

It has been almost two years since I have done anything with this blog. I just spent some time reverting all my old posts to drafts so that this looks brand new. In looking back I have realized I am not must closer to any goals than I once was. And that is my own fault.  

The only new thing is that I have become a Independent Beachbody Coach. My desire is to help others who struggle as much as I do. I want others to see that they are not the only ones who struggle day in and day out to stay on track. Sometimes I feel that I am off track more than I am on. But this is life and Beachbody Coach or not I do struggle. Its easy for me to push someone else. Its easy for me to inspire others. But why is it so hard to do these things for myself? I often wonder this. And I come to the conclusion that I don't think I'm worth it. I often will feel like if I take time out to concentrate on me and my goals than I am being selfish as I have a family to care for.  These are the lies the enemy fill my mind with day in and day out.  He doesn't want to see me succeed.  He wants to keep me down and God far from my reach.

I love helping and serving others. Its how God designed me. But I also know he designed me to see myself how he sees me. If I am worth it to God than I need to be worth it to myself.

His word says I am a new creation in Christ (2 Cor. 5:17). Everyday I need to rise and praise him for he has given me a new day to start fresh. A new day to turn from old ways and start new.

I am a victor (Romans 8:37). We are victorious. You, me and the person next to you. We are not made to be slaves to our strongholds! We are not made to be imprisoned by the things that keep knocking us down. If we walk with our heads held high and walk with the attitude that We CAN do ALL things thru Christ (Phil. 4:13) we will make it to the top.

I don't want other people, especially women, walking around for the rest of their days wondering if they are worth it.  You ARE worth it.  Our time to change is now.  Don't let tomorrow pass without making one small change.  That's all it takes.  Keep getting up and dusting off.  Keep pushing.  Keep working.  Never stop.  

I need to get back into having a goal.  I haven't had one since my half marathon and hip surgery in 2014.  Do I want to lose weight?  Yes, but it has to be more than just losing weight.  I was my happiest and felt my best when I was running.  I miss it.  I miss that time I spent with the Lord. Because that's exactly what I did.  I was able to communicate with him my way without any distractions. I'm going to have to double my workouts a few days a week since I'm only half way through Focus T25, but it has to be done.     So that's my plan.  Continue Focus T25 while getting in 2-3 short runs a week.  I say short because I'm not in running shape.  

What goals do you have for yourself and whats stopping you from reaching them?

~Kristina