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Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Into words

I wish I could put into words just exactly how I feel or what I am going through emotionally.  I keep telling myself to wake up and get out of this cycle. This battle that I am enduring I can't get up from. I feel like every time I turn around I'm getting pushed back down.  I hate how I feel in my clothes and I was working so hard to fix it and it seemed that it wasn't working.  I am so tired of struggling.  So tired of going in circles.  Losing and gaining the same 7 lbs..over and over again.  I'm so exhausted. 

I miss running.  I miss the way running made me feel.  I would give anything to have that back.  I could go back but I can't run long distance anymore, not with my hips.  I have to be extra careful as it is. Even though one tear has been repaired, the other has not.  The last run a couple weeks ago I over did it and hurt for the rest of the week.  I need to be smarter about it and follow a beginners plan and use the run/walk method.  It won't make me less of a runner by doing this.  

I could go back to running and PIYO,  PIYO will keep my joints and muscles strong and stretched.

Maybe that's the plan I need to take. 

Every time I put a plan on paper and I get off track I feel like a total failure.  I feel like Moses in the desert.  Lord help me! 


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